Preparing your toddler for a new arrival! Top tips!

Preparing for a new arrival can be a stressful time, throw explaining and preparing a toddler for a new sibling can make it 10x worse.

We all know toddlers are egocentric- it's just a part of growing up. They think everything is about them, everything is for them; and when they don't get their own way.. well, we all know what happens!

A new sibling is a big change for a toddler. They may feel pushed out, unloved, they may feel jealous. Some can be the complete opposite, they may be overprotective of the baby and mum, trying to do things for them that may not be safe (I always have images of Alyssa dragging baby across the front room in an attempt to 'take her for a walk')

I've done A LOT of research about how to make the transition to older sibling a little easier, for all involved, and have compiled a list.

Our close family bond!

-Books, books and more books. 
Toddlers love books. Whether they're flappy, fluffy, noisy. When on a weekly visit to the local library, I came across a whole section of books aimed at toddlers, all about 'new babies'. Some talk about ways to help mummy with the baby, some about how things will change, what to expect, what babies need, what babies like.. These are definitely a great way of preparing your toddler. The one on one time reading stories will also help!

-Let them get involved.
If your toddler is anything like mine, they will love to be independent. If they're not pulling washing from the machine, they're rearranging their wardrobes. If you become an overprotective mum, who doesn't let them get involved, they may feel worthless and like they're not needed. Let them help put baby's items into the nursery, let them help pick out new clothes, and if you're really brave, they may even enjoy helping to decorate the nursery too! When baby arrives, let your toddler fetch a nappy, hold their bottle, pick out their clean clothes.

-One on one time.
I think this goes for all children, not just toddlers. But it is important to spend quality time alone with each child you have. It can really boost their self-esteem. Spending time alone with your toddler when baby is there may be difficult, but even ten minutes before bed where you don't mention the baby but do a puzzle or read a book, or even leave baby with Daddy and go food shopping together- making it fun along the way. It's important to get a middle balance.. not so much that the toddler thinks all your attention needs to be on them, but so they know that you still have time for them, and love them just as much as before. Some activities include- helping prepare dinner, going to the park/cinema/nature trail, painting/drawing, making cakes, reading or just sitting and playing with their toys. This time should be spent just the two of you.

These are three of the most useful tips I've found. But the biggest would be to just go with the flow, trust your instincts, if you feel jealousy is there.. cuddle them, talk to them, let them know you love them. By the time the baby is settled into the family, life will slow back down, routine is still key. A new baby shouldn't change your toddlers routine if it doesn't have to. 

I hope this helps any new expectant mummies with a toddler to prepare! :)

28/29 week pregnancy update.

This week's update is joined onto my 29th week update. I've had a busy week and completely forgot to write for week 28, but nothing different really has happened so I figured I'd just join them together.

Symptoms wise I'm struggling a bit. Heartburn and acid are taking over, and some days I can eat like a horse.. whilst others I can't even eat a toddler portion. SPD has taken over, which isn't helped by the problems my body already has, so I'm in agony each day. Physio are fitting me with a tubigrip for the whole of my stomach to hopefully gold my pelvis in place and strengthen my uterus to keep baby in longer! Hormones have been a little pants this week, although I've done good just letting them out and telling people how I feel. I guess now we're just 11 weeks away, anxiety is kicking in a little and I just need my baby here, safe in my arms.

Sleep wise I'm doing good, by the time I've struggled for a day my body just gives up and lets me sleep a full night- which is lovely. 

My 28 week midwife appointment went great. Baby was head down and engaged, with a very strong heartbeat (160!!) Urine/bloods etc were fine and she wasn't concerned about anything! I'll next be seeing her to write my birth plan!!

Depression wise I'm doing good. We're one week into no medication and I've been feeling good. I think the sun has helped, aswell as time alone aith Triston whilst Alyssa's been at nursery- to talk about any worries etc before they build up. For once I'm in control and I hope it stays that way!

That's all for this week (and last) All still going good and baby is hanging in there, making me feel like a whale! :-)

27 week pregnancy update.

This weeks update won't be very long. I've struggled to find the time to even write a small update, so I am currently typing away whilst stuffing my face with Strawberries before fasting for a day of blood tests.

Symptoms have been crazy this week- braxton hicks, acid reflux, sore breasts, headaches, low energy- you name it, I had it.
I think they've been more obvious because we've had a stressful week.

On Wednesday I went to a physio appointment for my Carpal Tunnel.. and came away with some crazy unexpected news.

I've always had troubles with my legs which we were told was loose ligaments, I had physio/crutches/leg brace etc and it just got dismissed and that was that.  As time has gone on I've had problems with my jaw, wrists and hips/stomach.

Without going into too much detail (because I'm still trying to get my head around it) .. The ligaments in my body are too lose, they aren't supporting the muscles, which aren't supporting my joints. They're easily dislocating/coming out of place and causing a lot of pain and discomfort. My physio has told me that it is advisable not to fall pregnant again- my body won't be able to handle it. The muscles in my legs and back, pelvis etc are weakening and need strengthening with physio/aqua aerobics, pilates etc to get them to hold out as much as they can.

They also want me to arrange through the surestart carers scheme, a home-helper for when Triston is at work. They really weren't positive and said it's going to get worse. I have wrist splints and will be fitted with a pelvic support at my next appointment- where hopefully I'll have a proper name for all of this and some more information on it. They have said once baby is born, surgery can be used to take the pain away but not to help.

At 18 it was a lot to take in, the future doesn't look great physically for me.. but I have a lot of support!!

Triston has been a star, about the not being able to carry pregnancy again and the prospect of me getting progressively worse.
There are a lot of worrying things that go alongside what they think I have, especially during pregnancy.. so I'm being prepared for early labour and am trying to rest as much as I can.

So thats just a short update for you. Emotionally I'm feeling strong, ready for anything life throws at me and I'm also enjoying time with Alyssa a lot more. I'm trying not to take the little things for granted.. because after this baby that could be it. Everything she does had made me glow with pride..

I hope I haven't bored you all with this update but I needed to post it as I have been getting lots of questions. It's early days yet (which have been painful already!!) So I will update more when I know!

Thanks for the continued support! :-)

Our Easter Sunday!

Easter isn't a 'huge' celebration in our household. The religious aspect isn't celebrated, as we do not follow a religion.. and Chocolate is a big treat, because Alyssa is still only young! This year we thought it would be important to empathise 'new life' and 'new beginnings'.

Triston was at work from 6-2 so we spentthe day at my mums house.

The day started by Alyssa opening her Easter basket [Blog on what is in her Easter basket is on the page]. We ate Hot cross buns and fruit for breakfast, then got dressed and set off down the road to my Mum's house.

My younger brother joined us for the walk, as he was at the park nearby (we live 2 seconds down the road from each other!) Alyssa loves her Uncle and held his hand all the way! 

At my mum's Alyssa received more goodies, and we held an indoor egg hunt because as usual the Great British weather let us down!

She actually understood how to look this year- which made it more exciting! She found 17 tiny eggs, and a giant Kinder Egg.. her beautiful face lit up knowing they were all for her- with the exception of mummy and daddy ;)

The afternoon was spent relaxing with family. When Daddy got home we snuggled under the blankets and watched Hop (Alyssa's 'bestest programme'- as she would put it).

And of course, what mummy can't resist a big bar of Chocolate once their child/ren are in bed? It was Easter afterall....

Easter baskets| Toddler edition.

The shops are filled with chocolate eggs, bunnies, chicks and even carrot shaped chocolates!

Easter is fast approaching and last year we made the decision to put together a basket of goodies each year for Alyssa, until she is old enough to 'grow out of it'. We don't like Alyssa having too much Chocolate/Sweets- for obvious reasons- she is only 2.. so we looked for things that were 'Eastery' but not coated in sugar. Of course we did add a little Chocolate for her too.

The first thing we picked up was a cute touchy feely book, called 'Are you my mummy'. It's a cute little story about a duckling looking for its Mother. This was actually purchased from the poundshop!

Next Alyssa picked out some cute bunny ear hairclips, again found in the poundshop- a nice little extra! ;)

The poundshop also had a lot of craft kits for Easter, we already purchased foam animals, bonnets and egg decorating kits which went down well, so decided to buy the Mask making kit too!

The last thing in her basket is a Milkybar egg, and a little matching bunny. These were purchased from Tesco, the egg was £1 (taken out of the box) and the bunnies on 2 for £1.. although we have only put one in.

The basket was also purchased from the poundshop and is stuffed with leftover Hamster bedding we had lying around!

We don't go overboard with Easter, we aren't religious so have no reason to celebrate it, but it's always nice to be able to buy Alyssa a treat for the holidays. 

I hope this gave you some ideas, and I hope you all have a wonderful Easter!! :-)

26 week pregnancy update!!

This week we have reached the 26th week of our pregnancy! Time seems to be speeding by!
As you can see by the photo above, baby girl has shot out and had a growth spurt. She should be weighing around 2lbs this week, although I am measuring two weeks ahead so who knows?!
Symptoms this week have been awful if I'm honest. I'm past that 'blooming' stage.. so past it. I'm now in the 'I'm a fat whale get thus baby out of me' stage.. and it sure is uncomfy!!

I've had aches in places I never knew existed. Pressure pain, nerve pain.. and hip pain! The only relief I get is when I'm on all fours rocking- so it's definitely time to purchase a biiiig ball!! 

Heartburn has been a pain, as it always has been with my silly body- but even more so with this pregnancy! I haven't really been feeling tired, thankfully! 

My Carpal tunnel is still playing up, but I have physio next week so fingers crossed it helps! 

Emotionally I'm feeling fine. It's been a week since I had my medication lowered, and apart from a blip at the start of the week when everything seemed to go wrong for us, I've been 'okay'. Stressed but 'okay'.

Movements are getting to the uncomfortable stage.. kicks in my ribs, a head pushing down and pokes in my sides.. and she doesn't seem to have a routine.. its all day everyday!!

We've changed her name.. again!! And are still unsure even now :( Name choosing is so difficult! I think we're going to compile a list and see shat she looks like when she arrives!

That's all for this week! :-)

Mental health during pregnancy.

As you're all aware, I suffer from mental health problems. Depression, anxiety and OCD.
Falling pregnant was a shock, as emotionally I didn't feel ready, but every baby is a blessing and we knew we were sent the baby for a reason. The first trimester was not a good time. Amongst problems with the pregnancy, my depression spiraled out of control. I didn't want the baby, I didn't want my existant child, I didn't even want to be here. I hated myself, and everything around me. My friends and family were concerned and got me the help I needed just in time. From then on things have been getting easier, from 20 weeks I have started bonding with our unborn girly, and feel I love her now as much ad any mum loves their baby. It's not nice admitting I had those feelings, but that's depression for yiu- it changes the entire person you are. 
I've been on anti depressents for two yesrs now, gradually highering my dose until I fell pregnant, where I was dropped.. As of 28 weeks, the tablets I am on can have a negative effect on baby, cauding withdrawal and possible heart defects. This isn't for all cases, but a lot. 

My mental health doctor has taken my dose even lower, and as of 28 weeks I am no longer allowed to take my medication.

It's a big thing coming away from the one thing you rely on to be 'okay' ..and I am anxious about what could happen, but I know it's for the best for our baby.

We've set up early warning signs, so we can detect a breakdown before it happens, so I can be given councilling/monitoring to help me until our big arrival.

A lot of people tell me 'you'll be okay' etc, but really they don't know.. and nor do I. Depression and anxiety is unpredictable. One minute you can be fine, the next crumbling at the walls.

I have a good support system from my friends/family/midwife and mental health doctors.. so I know that I will be supported if anything goes wrong.

I'll be updating again in a few weeks, once I'm off the medication.. but please remember, Mental health is an illness, it can happen to anyone- even those who are supposed to be going through the most exciting time of their life!