When I fell pregnant, everyone warned me about sleepless nights, missing my friends, struggling through school with a baby, being bullied about having a baby, the challenges that babies bring(learning how to change nappies, prepare milk etcetc).
When Alyssa was born & she slept through, she took her milk well & my friends visited every day. I was on top of the world.
When I passed my exams, I thought.. 'who's laughing now?'.
But not one person EVER said, you will suffer from PND & OCD.
No-one said there'd be days where I would feel like crying & hiding myself away.
I wasn't prepared for this.. & I think that's part of the reason I have it.
I glided through 'Mummyhood' happily & easily. Got lots of sleep, had lots of days out.. & knew exactly how to care for my gorgeous daughter.
So instead of catching up on sleep, taking parenting classes..etcetc, when I wasn't with friends.. What could I do? I didn't need help with Alyssa, so I would tidy.. or I would sit, I had time to worry about the mess, I had time to worry about things that didn't matter.
& now I'm in the situation I am.
People NEED to know that whether you have a well behaved baby or not, that may not be the end of trouble with Motherhood. No-one really goes into PND & OCD.. if people knew about it more, maybe they would go for help sooner, or maybe they could prevent it from happening. I know if I knew the signs of it whilst I was pregnant, as soon as they came when she was born, I'd have stopped myself from overthinking & constantly tidying.
PND & OCD is a taboo subject, but it needs more AWARENESS.. It's not just an excuse for being upset. It is a clinical illness. & it's a horrible place to be. No-one will ever understand how low you can feel(unless they've been diagnosed themselves) .. I think people need to be made more aware.
I'm not sure how they will, but I hope they do.
No comments:
Post a Comment