Just as I thought I had picked myself up, stupid old me forgets to take my tablets and all my hard work comes crashing back down into the black hole that is depression. Last week was so positive. I was enjoying waking up and doing daily jobs, playing with Alyssa and just being a mum. The house was spotless, all washing caught up on and everyone was feeling positive. We enjoyed her birthday but straight after I could feel myself slipping. I went back to not wanting to get out of bed, sleeping on the sofa all afternoon and not feeling close to Alyssa. Then today just topped it off. Alyssa has obviously picked up on my stress and has played up something rotten. The house is a tip and Triston and I are disagreeing over everything because I'm feeling irritable. I thought I'd take Alyssa to the park but realised all my trousers/jeans etc were in the wash.. so that plan went out the window. Felt myself getting emotional- and realised I hadn't taken my tablets for a few days. Went to look for them and they've disappeared. Every time I do this. When I'm on a high I forget about my medication- I enjoy the happiness too much to notice. Then I scoop back down into a bad place again.
Really struggling today, and can't help but think that I'll be relying on tablets to make me happy for the rest of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment