We all know toddlers are egocentric- it's just a part of growing up. They think everything is about them, everything is for them; and when they don't get their own way.. well, we all know what happens!
A new sibling is a big change for a toddler. They may feel pushed out, unloved, they may feel jealous. Some can be the complete opposite, they may be overprotective of the baby and mum, trying to do things for them that may not be safe (I always have images of Alyssa dragging baby across the front room in an attempt to 'take her for a walk')
I've done A LOT of research about how to make the transition to older sibling a little easier, for all involved, and have compiled a list.
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| Our close family bond! |
-Books, books and more books.
Toddlers love books. Whether they're flappy, fluffy, noisy. When on a weekly visit to the local library, I came across a whole section of books aimed at toddlers, all about 'new babies'. Some talk about ways to help mummy with the baby, some about how things will change, what to expect, what babies need, what babies like.. These are definitely a great way of preparing your toddler. The one on one time reading stories will also help!
-Let them get involved.
If your toddler is anything like mine, they will love to be independent. If they're not pulling washing from the machine, they're rearranging their wardrobes. If you become an overprotective mum, who doesn't let them get involved, they may feel worthless and like they're not needed. Let them help put baby's items into the nursery, let them help pick out new clothes, and if you're really brave, they may even enjoy helping to decorate the nursery too! When baby arrives, let your toddler fetch a nappy, hold their bottle, pick out their clean clothes.
-One on one time.
I think this goes for all children, not just toddlers. But it is important to spend quality time alone with each child you have. It can really boost their self-esteem. Spending time alone with your toddler when baby is there may be difficult, but even ten minutes before bed where you don't mention the baby but do a puzzle or read a book, or even leave baby with Daddy and go food shopping together- making it fun along the way. It's important to get a middle balance.. not so much that the toddler thinks all your attention needs to be on them, but so they know that you still have time for them, and love them just as much as before. Some activities include- helping prepare dinner, going to the park/cinema/nature trail, painting/drawing, making cakes, reading or just sitting and playing with their toys. This time should be spent just the two of you.
These are three of the most useful tips I've found. But the biggest would be to just go with the flow, trust your instincts, if you feel jealousy is there.. cuddle them, talk to them, let them know you love them. By the time the baby is settled into the family, life will slow back down, routine is still key. A new baby shouldn't change your toddlers routine if it doesn't have to.
I hope this helps any new expectant mummies with a toddler to prepare! :)
