Preparing your toddler for a new arrival! Top tips!

Preparing for a new arrival can be a stressful time, throw explaining and preparing a toddler for a new sibling can make it 10x worse.

We all know toddlers are egocentric- it's just a part of growing up. They think everything is about them, everything is for them; and when they don't get their own way.. well, we all know what happens!

A new sibling is a big change for a toddler. They may feel pushed out, unloved, they may feel jealous. Some can be the complete opposite, they may be overprotective of the baby and mum, trying to do things for them that may not be safe (I always have images of Alyssa dragging baby across the front room in an attempt to 'take her for a walk')

I've done A LOT of research about how to make the transition to older sibling a little easier, for all involved, and have compiled a list.

Our close family bond!

-Books, books and more books. 
Toddlers love books. Whether they're flappy, fluffy, noisy. When on a weekly visit to the local library, I came across a whole section of books aimed at toddlers, all about 'new babies'. Some talk about ways to help mummy with the baby, some about how things will change, what to expect, what babies need, what babies like.. These are definitely a great way of preparing your toddler. The one on one time reading stories will also help!

-Let them get involved.
If your toddler is anything like mine, they will love to be independent. If they're not pulling washing from the machine, they're rearranging their wardrobes. If you become an overprotective mum, who doesn't let them get involved, they may feel worthless and like they're not needed. Let them help put baby's items into the nursery, let them help pick out new clothes, and if you're really brave, they may even enjoy helping to decorate the nursery too! When baby arrives, let your toddler fetch a nappy, hold their bottle, pick out their clean clothes.

-One on one time.
I think this goes for all children, not just toddlers. But it is important to spend quality time alone with each child you have. It can really boost their self-esteem. Spending time alone with your toddler when baby is there may be difficult, but even ten minutes before bed where you don't mention the baby but do a puzzle or read a book, or even leave baby with Daddy and go food shopping together- making it fun along the way. It's important to get a middle balance.. not so much that the toddler thinks all your attention needs to be on them, but so they know that you still have time for them, and love them just as much as before. Some activities include- helping prepare dinner, going to the park/cinema/nature trail, painting/drawing, making cakes, reading or just sitting and playing with their toys. This time should be spent just the two of you.

These are three of the most useful tips I've found. But the biggest would be to just go with the flow, trust your instincts, if you feel jealousy is there.. cuddle them, talk to them, let them know you love them. By the time the baby is settled into the family, life will slow back down, routine is still key. A new baby shouldn't change your toddlers routine if it doesn't have to. 

I hope this helps any new expectant mummies with a toddler to prepare! :)

28/29 week pregnancy update.

This week's update is joined onto my 29th week update. I've had a busy week and completely forgot to write for week 28, but nothing different really has happened so I figured I'd just join them together.

Symptoms wise I'm struggling a bit. Heartburn and acid are taking over, and some days I can eat like a horse.. whilst others I can't even eat a toddler portion. SPD has taken over, which isn't helped by the problems my body already has, so I'm in agony each day. Physio are fitting me with a tubigrip for the whole of my stomach to hopefully gold my pelvis in place and strengthen my uterus to keep baby in longer! Hormones have been a little pants this week, although I've done good just letting them out and telling people how I feel. I guess now we're just 11 weeks away, anxiety is kicking in a little and I just need my baby here, safe in my arms.

Sleep wise I'm doing good, by the time I've struggled for a day my body just gives up and lets me sleep a full night- which is lovely. 

My 28 week midwife appointment went great. Baby was head down and engaged, with a very strong heartbeat (160!!) Urine/bloods etc were fine and she wasn't concerned about anything! I'll next be seeing her to write my birth plan!!

Depression wise I'm doing good. We're one week into no medication and I've been feeling good. I think the sun has helped, aswell as time alone aith Triston whilst Alyssa's been at nursery- to talk about any worries etc before they build up. For once I'm in control and I hope it stays that way!

That's all for this week (and last) All still going good and baby is hanging in there, making me feel like a whale! :-)

27 week pregnancy update.

This weeks update won't be very long. I've struggled to find the time to even write a small update, so I am currently typing away whilst stuffing my face with Strawberries before fasting for a day of blood tests.

Symptoms have been crazy this week- braxton hicks, acid reflux, sore breasts, headaches, low energy- you name it, I had it.
I think they've been more obvious because we've had a stressful week.

On Wednesday I went to a physio appointment for my Carpal Tunnel.. and came away with some crazy unexpected news.

I've always had troubles with my legs which we were told was loose ligaments, I had physio/crutches/leg brace etc and it just got dismissed and that was that.  As time has gone on I've had problems with my jaw, wrists and hips/stomach.

Without going into too much detail (because I'm still trying to get my head around it) .. The ligaments in my body are too lose, they aren't supporting the muscles, which aren't supporting my joints. They're easily dislocating/coming out of place and causing a lot of pain and discomfort. My physio has told me that it is advisable not to fall pregnant again- my body won't be able to handle it. The muscles in my legs and back, pelvis etc are weakening and need strengthening with physio/aqua aerobics, pilates etc to get them to hold out as much as they can.

They also want me to arrange through the surestart carers scheme, a home-helper for when Triston is at work. They really weren't positive and said it's going to get worse. I have wrist splints and will be fitted with a pelvic support at my next appointment- where hopefully I'll have a proper name for all of this and some more information on it. They have said once baby is born, surgery can be used to take the pain away but not to help.

At 18 it was a lot to take in, the future doesn't look great physically for me.. but I have a lot of support!!

Triston has been a star, about the not being able to carry pregnancy again and the prospect of me getting progressively worse.
There are a lot of worrying things that go alongside what they think I have, especially during pregnancy.. so I'm being prepared for early labour and am trying to rest as much as I can.

So thats just a short update for you. Emotionally I'm feeling strong, ready for anything life throws at me and I'm also enjoying time with Alyssa a lot more. I'm trying not to take the little things for granted.. because after this baby that could be it. Everything she does had made me glow with pride..

I hope I haven't bored you all with this update but I needed to post it as I have been getting lots of questions. It's early days yet (which have been painful already!!) So I will update more when I know!

Thanks for the continued support! :-)

Our Easter Sunday!

Easter isn't a 'huge' celebration in our household. The religious aspect isn't celebrated, as we do not follow a religion.. and Chocolate is a big treat, because Alyssa is still only young! This year we thought it would be important to empathise 'new life' and 'new beginnings'.

Triston was at work from 6-2 so we spentthe day at my mums house.

The day started by Alyssa opening her Easter basket [Blog on what is in her Easter basket is on the page]. We ate Hot cross buns and fruit for breakfast, then got dressed and set off down the road to my Mum's house.

My younger brother joined us for the walk, as he was at the park nearby (we live 2 seconds down the road from each other!) Alyssa loves her Uncle and held his hand all the way! 

At my mum's Alyssa received more goodies, and we held an indoor egg hunt because as usual the Great British weather let us down!

She actually understood how to look this year- which made it more exciting! She found 17 tiny eggs, and a giant Kinder Egg.. her beautiful face lit up knowing they were all for her- with the exception of mummy and daddy ;)

The afternoon was spent relaxing with family. When Daddy got home we snuggled under the blankets and watched Hop (Alyssa's 'bestest programme'- as she would put it).

And of course, what mummy can't resist a big bar of Chocolate once their child/ren are in bed? It was Easter afterall....

Easter baskets| Toddler edition.

The shops are filled with chocolate eggs, bunnies, chicks and even carrot shaped chocolates!

Easter is fast approaching and last year we made the decision to put together a basket of goodies each year for Alyssa, until she is old enough to 'grow out of it'. We don't like Alyssa having too much Chocolate/Sweets- for obvious reasons- she is only 2.. so we looked for things that were 'Eastery' but not coated in sugar. Of course we did add a little Chocolate for her too.

The first thing we picked up was a cute touchy feely book, called 'Are you my mummy'. It's a cute little story about a duckling looking for its Mother. This was actually purchased from the poundshop!

Next Alyssa picked out some cute bunny ear hairclips, again found in the poundshop- a nice little extra! ;)

The poundshop also had a lot of craft kits for Easter, we already purchased foam animals, bonnets and egg decorating kits which went down well, so decided to buy the Mask making kit too!

The last thing in her basket is a Milkybar egg, and a little matching bunny. These were purchased from Tesco, the egg was £1 (taken out of the box) and the bunnies on 2 for £1.. although we have only put one in.

The basket was also purchased from the poundshop and is stuffed with leftover Hamster bedding we had lying around!

We don't go overboard with Easter, we aren't religious so have no reason to celebrate it, but it's always nice to be able to buy Alyssa a treat for the holidays. 

I hope this gave you some ideas, and I hope you all have a wonderful Easter!! :-)

26 week pregnancy update!!

This week we have reached the 26th week of our pregnancy! Time seems to be speeding by!
As you can see by the photo above, baby girl has shot out and had a growth spurt. She should be weighing around 2lbs this week, although I am measuring two weeks ahead so who knows?!
Symptoms this week have been awful if I'm honest. I'm past that 'blooming' stage.. so past it. I'm now in the 'I'm a fat whale get thus baby out of me' stage.. and it sure is uncomfy!!

I've had aches in places I never knew existed. Pressure pain, nerve pain.. and hip pain! The only relief I get is when I'm on all fours rocking- so it's definitely time to purchase a biiiig ball!! 

Heartburn has been a pain, as it always has been with my silly body- but even more so with this pregnancy! I haven't really been feeling tired, thankfully! 

My Carpal tunnel is still playing up, but I have physio next week so fingers crossed it helps! 

Emotionally I'm feeling fine. It's been a week since I had my medication lowered, and apart from a blip at the start of the week when everything seemed to go wrong for us, I've been 'okay'. Stressed but 'okay'.

Movements are getting to the uncomfortable stage.. kicks in my ribs, a head pushing down and pokes in my sides.. and she doesn't seem to have a routine.. its all day everyday!!

We've changed her name.. again!! And are still unsure even now :( Name choosing is so difficult! I think we're going to compile a list and see shat she looks like when she arrives!

That's all for this week! :-)

Mental health during pregnancy.

As you're all aware, I suffer from mental health problems. Depression, anxiety and OCD.
Falling pregnant was a shock, as emotionally I didn't feel ready, but every baby is a blessing and we knew we were sent the baby for a reason. The first trimester was not a good time. Amongst problems with the pregnancy, my depression spiraled out of control. I didn't want the baby, I didn't want my existant child, I didn't even want to be here. I hated myself, and everything around me. My friends and family were concerned and got me the help I needed just in time. From then on things have been getting easier, from 20 weeks I have started bonding with our unborn girly, and feel I love her now as much ad any mum loves their baby. It's not nice admitting I had those feelings, but that's depression for yiu- it changes the entire person you are. 
I've been on anti depressents for two yesrs now, gradually highering my dose until I fell pregnant, where I was dropped.. As of 28 weeks, the tablets I am on can have a negative effect on baby, cauding withdrawal and possible heart defects. This isn't for all cases, but a lot. 

My mental health doctor has taken my dose even lower, and as of 28 weeks I am no longer allowed to take my medication.

It's a big thing coming away from the one thing you rely on to be 'okay' ..and I am anxious about what could happen, but I know it's for the best for our baby.

We've set up early warning signs, so we can detect a breakdown before it happens, so I can be given councilling/monitoring to help me until our big arrival.

A lot of people tell me 'you'll be okay' etc, but really they don't know.. and nor do I. Depression and anxiety is unpredictable. One minute you can be fine, the next crumbling at the walls.

I have a good support system from my friends/family/midwife and mental health doctors.. so I know that I will be supported if anything goes wrong.

I'll be updating again in a few weeks, once I'm off the medication.. but please remember, Mental health is an illness, it can happen to anyone- even those who are supposed to be going through the most exciting time of their life!

25 week pregnancy update.

This week I turnt 25 weeks pregnant!

I've had a busy week, with appointment after appointment and I'm ready to just relax now!

The main symptom this week is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, I was diagnosed on Monday after weeks of pain.

Carpal Tunnel is a syndrome, where a nerve in your wrist is compressed. It causes pain, numbness, parathesia and discomfort in your wrist/hand/fingers. It is often caused by an accident, however 50% of pregnant women also get it! 

There isn't much that can be done, and often sufferers complain of the pain throughout their lives. I've been referred to physio, and have been given splints to wear to ease the pain. I will also be given steroid injections into my wrist. If none of these work, I will be sent for surgery on my wrist.

The pain is horrible and my wrist has turnt to jelly, I cannot grip/grab etc and it gives way often.

Other symptoms are the usual, heartburn, restlessness, swollen feet and general aches and pains. Braxton hicks are back, but luckily I've stopped losing my plug for now!

I had a check up with my midwife and baby is growing above average, but not enough to be concerned, her heartbeat was strong and steady and my BP/urine etc all came back perfect.

I've also been told that if things stay as they are, I will be allowed a home birth!!

Emotionally I'm feeling fab and have started weaning off of my medication (new post will be added).

We have decided to change baby's name to one on our list, but won't be announcing because no doubt it will change again!! 

The girls room is almost finished, with only a few more bits to buy for the big arrival!

We're almost into the final trimester (2.5 weeks away) and I am ready for the home stretch!

Come back next week for my 26 week update! :-)

24 week pregnancy update & NAME REVEAL.

This week we've hit 24 weeks- still a while to go, but it means we have reached 'viability'. Before 24 weeks gestation, if a baby was born and needed help, doctors would not work on the baby. Very few babies survive if born before 24 weeks (although I have heard of 2, 23 weekers!!) Once a mother reaches 24 weeks, if she was to give birth to an alive baby- doctors would do what they could to keep baby alive and well.

Symptoms this week are really starting to give me that 'are we nearly there yet' feeling. Tiredness, muscle pulls, ribs sore and under attack 24/7, sore breasts, swollen feet, more loss of mucus plug, hair loss, hormonal outbursts, constant tiredness and difficulty walking far due to baby's position. Who said pregnancy was glamourous?!

We also decided on revealing baby girls name this week.

Autumn-Raine Elsa Sedgwick!

We got a mixed reaction, but that's to be expected. We understand not every name suits certain people, but we didn't name her to please other people.. 
Choosing a name was difficult.. When we fell pregnant Autumn-Raine was our first choice but wondered how people would react, our 2nd choice was Emilie-Rose but with much thought, we decided that it was again quite a common name. It seems most girls names that are hyphenated have -Rose, -Mae, -Grace, -Rae or -Louise at the end of it, so we wanted to use something completely different. 

Alyssa is getting more and more excited about the arrival of her baby sister. Talking about all the items we've accumulated for her, stroking and cuddling my bump, and telling us she loves her. I never thought she would understand but she's showing all the signs!

We've also decided on our birth choice- and will be asking for a vaginal delivery, at home. 

Next week we have my mental health check up, where I will be weaned off of my medication, and my midwife appt so there will be lots to share. I'm feeling slightly anxious about it, but know I have the support I need in place to get by.

That's it for this week! :-)

Pregnancy & baby loss. 3 years on.

On the 29th of March 2011, aged just 15 years old, I stood in my bathroom staring at a positive pregnancy test. I had been with my partner, Triston, since January and were very shocked to see the two strong lines! I was on work experience at a nursery school, and the prospect of becoming a mum, although scary, excited me!
We told our family the same day, it was never going to be a secret.. and our friends the day after- looking back I regret a LOT. We had worked out dates and I was roughly 7 weeks pregnant. 
In the evening of finding out, I suffered bad cramps and kept saying 'if I wasnt pregnant, I swear I'd be having a period'.. but put it down to stretching and carried on as normal. On the 2nd of April we were out with friends in a local town, shopping and having a photoshoot. The pains were getting worse, but again, I just thought it was 'normal'. Triston went off to grab some lunch whilst myself and my best friend popped into a clothes shop. As we were standing in the queue after oggling baby clothes, I felt pressure in my lower back and thought I was going to wet myself. I left her in the queue and ran to the nearest toilets, but it was too late. Blood was gushing out of me, and I was terrified. After a lovely lady gave me some wipes/pad etc and helped me clean up in the bathrooms, I found Triston and my friend and told them what had happened. Triston and I walked away for a while to come to terms sith it and buy some lady products for the journey home. We decided to stay for the photoshoot, trying not to think the worst- denial and naive :(

As we got home, and told my mum who had suffered baby loss a few times, we realised that what I was losing wasn't just 'blood' and infact it was the pregnancy ending. We went to the doctors and were rushed for an appt at the hospital for hormone testing.

We were called into a small, dark room and our worst fears were confirmed. The hormones were quickly dropping and I was losing our baby.

I didn't cry, I accepted what she was saying and said 'maybe it was the wrong time'..
For the next week I found work experience too hard to do, working with babies that I wouldn't have myself.
I didn't speak about what happened, and neither did Triston.

I remember days where I would break down, 😕 I'd hit out at Triston and shout '😯 I want my baby back'.

So that, is our baby loss story. I have never really spoken about it in detail- I guess I feel bad complaining when luckily we've been blessed with more healthy children. A lot of people say 'you never met the baby' 'you never bonded' 'it wasn't a real baby'. But it was a baby, my baby. I had the symptoms, the excitement, the plans for a new arrival- all taken away from me infront of my eyes and the worst thing was knowing I could do nothing to stop it. No medical attention would have stopped it. It was destined to happen and that broke my heart.
This year i'm finding it hard to come to terms with. As I'm expecting my '2nd 'little girl, i'll never have the memories from my 1st. I guess that's just how things happened for us, and I do believe everything happens for a reason- but sometimes you can't help but feel 'why me?'.

The importance of the great outdoors.

As an adult, sitting inside staring at the same four walls can be quite frankly, depressing. Everything looks the same, everything smells the same, and you can feel trapped. Your senses aren't stimulated and it can often make you feel alone.

For a toddler those feelings will be even worse, because of their brain development, they need stimulation 99% of the time to keep them focused, and of course to help them learn new things.

Getting outside can be beneficial for the whole family, the exercise releases endorphins (a happy hormone), the freedom means you can literally breathe freely, and the experiences it can give your children can last them a lifetime.

We live right next to the downs, so always have somewhere to go when we need some space or fresh air. There are puddles, plants, trees, birds and wildlife that the toddler can explore and learn about to get her mind and senses stimulated.

A few other outdoor places we find good are listed below! 
•The beach. The beach is great for a day out. Toddlers can use their motor skills on building and digging, collecting shells. They can learn of sea creatures, boats and water activities.
•Woodland. Woodland is great for clearing the cobwebs. You can run nature trails, or make a 'bingo' card for your toddler to spot different items (pinecones/berries/daffodils etc). It's always lovely to run off your Sunday lunch in the woods!
•Childrens playgrounds. Of course, playgrounds are amazing for keeping littlies entertained. They can learn allsorts, colours, shapes, how to climb, up/down opposites etc. And most playgrounds have a picnic bench so you can make a day of it!

Of course other benefits are that most places outdoors are free to use or very cheap! Even in a city, a walk around the block can teach your toddler a lot of things and give them the fresh air they need!

Enjoying the woodland!

Fun at the beach!

Burning off energy at the park!

Mothers day crafts with a 2 year old!

Mothers day is creeping up quickly and after staring endlessly at the generic 'best nanny' mugs, keyrings, plaques and tea coasters, I decided this year we would go for something more handmade. After all, we have a very talented 2 year old at home who LOVES getting messy!

Now if you know me, you'll know I am not creative in the slightest.. and my patience wears thin with paint and glue getting everywhere.

I had seen a few pictures of 'handprint' flowers and decided we'd give it a go.

What we used:

•Cardboard from a recycled cereal box for backing.

•Coloured paper.

•Paint and paintbrushes.

•Glue.

How we did it:

Firstly I made a 'stalk' shape out of green paper and put it to the side. We then used red paint to create three handprints onto yellow paper. Once dried, we arranged these pieces into a flower shape and stuck onto the cardboard backing (the paper was flimsy so this was necessary). I then wrote 'Nanny' down the stem and a little message on the leaf saying happy mothers day. Of course, Alyssa was covered in paint by this time so she continued printing hwr hands on scrap paper whilst I cut the flower out.

And that was it. (Followed by a bath, because what toddler can resist sticking every body part in paint?!)

We won a competition on a Facebook page called 'Bunnys prints' for a photo jigsaw of the toddler, so that shall be accompanying our beautiful Nanny flower. (Please check out their Facebook page- they have truly beautiful work on there!)

Hope you enjoyed this different post! :-)

23 week pregnancy update. another scare!

23 weeks pregnant! Time is flying by now, thank God.

This week brought us another scare! Halfway through the week I was taking a bath, when I noticed what looked like my mucus plug floating around with fresh blood 'clots' as such. I wasn't panicked, as I was sure it was quite common, but we rung the midwife anyway. Alyssa went off to my mums incase I needed to stay the night at hospital. Luckily my blood group meant that if I rested, the mucus plug would grow back (regenerate) and most likely hold out until the time is right for baby to make her arrival! However it was important I was resting, and trying not to sit up, as baby pressing down on the cervical opening could push more plug out!

Luckily it's stopped since then and our little sprout is wriggling and happy inside, but when we realised it wasn't as common as we thought,  we were quite scared!

Symptoms this week are still quite the same. Nesting is well and truly in place, heartburn/acid too! Yack! My breasts are growing fast and it would appear 'leaking' as such already- not fun!!

I'm feeling quite tired of an evening so heading for bed around 9, and getting up early.

My appetite is unusual, sometimes I can eat and eat and eat, others I can barely eat one mouthful!

Movements are getting so strong, i'm sure she did a full somersault the other day! When I look at my tum I can see her wriggling inside- it's the most amazing feeling. 

Emotionally I'm feeling good, although a little anxious. Next week I'll start to be weaned off of my medication and I'm not sure how I'll react. It's been a hard decision staying on them until this point, especially with the risks to baby, but I guess without them it's hard to even know if I myself would still be here, let alone myself and the baby.

Hormones are all over the place and I keep crying at the smallest thing, although I know this is just pregnancy and not my depression. Happy things, sad things.. funny things, you name it, I'll be there crying lol!

Overall i'm really ready for this baby now. We've almost finished the girls room and soon will be planning a baby shower, deciding on our birth options etc. I can't wait!

That's all this week, sorry for the TMI. Stay tuned for next weeks update! :)

The nursery years- a big step.

We honestly never thought we would go through this part of parenting. 
Cost of childcare is rising, when parents are just as good teachers in their children's early years.
However, as Triston became unemployed, we were given the opportunity to receive 15 free hours of nursery funding a week for our beautiful miss A.
I am so excited, yet worried for her. With a new baby on the way, will she think we're trying to get rid of her? Will she enjoy it? Will she be safe? What will I do with all the spare time? How will she cope being away from us? So many questions whizzing round, but we've taken the leap, chosen a nursery and she'll soon be starting (in two weeks!!)
Now, of course, choosing which nursery she would attend wasn't easy. There are so many out there. After parent reviews/OFSTED reports/looking round etc we've chosen the perfect one. One that focuses on outdoor enrichment, that take trips every week. Swimming lessons and a minibus service to all 'pupils'. 

I compiled a list of things to thing about when choosing a nursery:
•Is the OFSTED report up to your standard.
•Is the environment safe and secure.
•Are the hours what you are looking for.
•Is it nearby or in suitable distance.
•Did you child look comfortable whilst touring the nursery?
•Were the staff friendly and welcoming.

These were a few of our main pointers to get us started.

It's safe to say, the next two weeks will be spent holding on tight to my baby girl, for me to finally let go on the 1st of April and see her off to nursery school!

22 weeks pregnancy update.

This week I am 22 weeks pregnant! 
It feels like it's flying by- I blame it on running around after a busy 2 year old!
Symptoms this week are quite minimal, a little heartburn, achey bump and restlessness.
Nesting is still here, and we've been buying clothes for our 2nd princess!
Movements are getting stronger- although more of a whole baby moving rather than kicks. I love that feeling!

Emotionally I'm feeling good, things have been positive again this week. Although I am feeling a little nervous about things again, like when my anxiety started up- bus journeys/messy house so I shall speak to my doctor about it!

My belly is growing steadily now, and I still haven't gained any weight which is fab!

Thats all for this week!

21 weeks update. GENDER REVEALED!

IT'S a.... GIRL!

So on my last update you were told we won't be revealing the sex. However, it was near on impossible so we caved!

We're having another beautiful little girl and I couldn't be happier. I love hearing of the bond sisters have- I never had a sister. But I can't wait to have two little girlies in the house!

Symptoms this week are still the same, pregnancy insomnia (although less after using a special pilllow) heartburn and acid. Baby's movements are very strong now and Daddy felt his first kick! Although early on, i've discovered that I have some leakages in the breast department and they're feeling very tender! Backache is appearing when I walk, aswell as leg and wrist cramps at bedtime!

Emotionally I'm feeling great- on top of things and really positive! Motivated and alert which is a lot better to how I was!

That's it for this week.. :)

20 week pregnancy update!

A day in the life of a teenage mum!

7.30 in the morning, I wake from my deep sleep to the sound of 'yes my name is iggle piggle' drifting in from tiny persons bedroom. This is the usual wake up call we get. That or 'happy birthday to you'. Dragging myself out of bed, tripping over the cat and  pile of washing I meant to put away.. 3 months ago, I sheepishly walk to the bathroom. My morning pee is the worst. Not only do I have  baby staring at me over her stairgate as if I shut the bathroom door she'd panic, but I also have a cat meowing st me because every morning she seems to want to sit in the bath and drink from the taps!!

The rest of the morning is more eventful than the wake up routine. I tackle the cereal debate with the tiny person- she asks for cereal EVEERY morning without fail. We like to give her a variety of breakfasts. I drink hot coffee whilst I can, the only time of the day that I won't have a toddler hanging off my legs shouting 'share mummy' because she is too engrossed in the annoying pig that appears on the tele every morning without fail. And of course spilling her cereal everywhere, often sharing with her toys too.

The washing machine will often be washing the load I put in the night before and forgot take out! Most wash loads get washed at least 2 times before I remember to take them out! Breakfast will be a quick bite of toast, of course shared with princess alyssa! Her majesty requires a taste of every meal I have! It's the law.

More household chores often whilst counting to ten repeatedly and singing nursery rhymes to keep tiny ears entertained. A run around the house picking up bits and bobs that the morning has accumulated somehow. Wipe around the bathroom with the cat watching to see if I'll turn the tap on for her. She often gets lucky because the sound of meowing after a morning of toddler versions of row your boat and peppa pig mean any noise I try to eliminate asap!

Lunchtime is often calm- although miss piggy loves fruit so much that she often screams and screams for 2nds.. and 3rd,4th, 5ths!!

Naptime is always well looked forward to! Although before that can happen I have to sit through THE EXCRUTIATING pain that is Alyssas weird humming that self soothes her!

Often I fall asleep and wake up to Triston shouting at the xbox.. or the phone ringing for the billionth time!

Once baby is awake, the evening time is more relaxed. I've often sucked up to the fact that the rest of the housework really needs doing, so get on with it quietly. We play board games and do puzzles, often have to read 10 books at least.. putting on funny voices and giving myself a headache. Dinner time is my retreat. I love the time I get to spend cooking a healthy meal. It's so rewarding seeing it splattered all over the face of little one, whilst she declares mmmmm, nommm. 

Daddy does the bedtime routine- he always has. This is the time I get to spend relaxing... pfft. Or washing up, sorting out bills, making phone calls, and maybe getting 5 minutes to breath!

Night time. Well you can guess. As soon as the mini me is asleep. I hit the sofa and don't move for the whole night! Until of course I get up to go to bed and remember the 1000 chores I forgot that day!

19 weeks pregnancy update!

19 weeks pregnant!! :) This week I barely have anything to report on! Baby's movements are getting stronger by the day- lots of kicks rather than waves of movement. I've been suffering really badly with heartburn/acid so have some medication coming. Sleep is getting a bit harder and I find myself waking earlier wanting to be up and at 'em haha. Emotionally I'm feeling fab- medication has really kicked in and i'm not having any negative thoughts!  My belly is quickly expanding as you can see by the picture!! Alyssa is getting more involved and loves talking to my stomach!

Next week is our gender scan and i'm feeling excited, if a little nervous!

That's all for this week! Pregnancy is going amazingly!!

Another bad day.

Just as I thought I had picked myself up, stupid old me forgets to take my tablets and all my hard work comes crashing back down into the black hole that is depression. Last week was so positive. I was enjoying waking up and doing daily jobs, playing with Alyssa and just being a mum. The house was spotless, all washing caught up on and everyone was feeling positive. We enjoyed her birthday but straight after I could feel myself slipping. I went back to not wanting to get out of bed, sleeping on the sofa all afternoon and not feeling close to Alyssa. Then today just topped it off. Alyssa has obviously picked up on my stress and has played up something rotten. The house is a tip and Triston and I are disagreeing over everything because I'm feeling irritable. I thought I'd take Alyssa to the park but realised all my trousers/jeans etc were in the wash.. so that plan went out the window. Felt myself getting emotional- and realised I hadn't taken my tablets for a few days. Went to look for them and they've disappeared. Every time I do this. When I'm on a high I forget about my medication- I enjoy the happiness too much to notice. Then I scoop back down into a bad place again. 
Really struggling today, and can't help but think that I'll be relying on tablets to make me happy for the rest of my life. 

18 weeks pregnancy update!

18 weeks pregnant!

This week I've hit 18 weeks!! Still feeling amazing! We celebrated Alyssa's 2nd birthday and have been busy, busy, busy! 

Symptom wise, everything is going well. I have a little bit of SPD pain, heartburn/acid and feeling hungry but nothing to disturb everyday life.
My belly is slowly starting to round out and emotionally I'm feeling super- if a little stressed from a toddler with the terrible twos lol!

We have finally got our names set for baby, just need to wait for our next scan (in 2 weeks) to see if we can find out the gender.

Alyssa is becoming increasingly involved with baby. Always asking to see my belly and give baby a kiss or a tickle. She's going to be an amazing big sister!

At this point with Alyssa I still had severe morning sickness, terrible heartburn and was very emotional so I'm feeling glad this pregnancy is different!

That is all I have to report on this week, stick around for my next update!!

Pooooooorly! 17 week pregnancy update.

I have just realised that I've been lacking on posts recently. Three weeks ago I fell unwell, I was having headaches, nosebleeds, collapsing, chest pains and breathlessness. I went to hospital and was told it was just a chest infection. So I started the antibiotics and was put on bed rest. I felt dreadful and I just didn't get better. Things were getting worse and I couldn't move off the sofa. Triston had time off work which was a great help. After I finished the antibiotics we went swimming. Bad idea. I had a severe allergic reaction to a chemical in the pool. My legs were so swollen and covered in burns and blisters. Resulted in another trip to hospital. They gave me more antibiotics for my chest and other medications for my legs.
Anyway, to cut to the chase I've only just started feeling a bit more human.

I am 17 weeks pregnant today and pregnancy wise feeling fab. All symptoms have gone- although nesting has come around again lol.
I am feeling small wriggles in my tummy and baby hates when I lie on it- cue the sleepless nights haha.

My skin and hair is doing fine, no sickness anymore and emotionally I feel great. More than ready to welcome our new baby.

In 24 days we find out the gender and have decided to keep it a secret from friends lol.

A bump is starting to develop finally and slimming world is going great- still losing weight but baby is growing healthily.

The midwife found babys heartbeat and we also found out that I am finally immune to rubella- which I wasn't with Alyssa. My iron/blood pressure is perfect and urine clear!

So that's a bit of an update for you all! Sorry for lack of posts!! I hope you can understand why lol.

Here is bumpy at 16+6 weeks.

Depression doesn't stop for birthdays.

On the 3rd of January, I turnt 18. A big milestone.. but I didn't feel like celebrating.
As I was told my life begins now, I'm an adult now.. and after a meal with all of my friends soon to be Uni students, I felt awful.
I've never regretted the decisions I've made.. and never will.. however on my birthday, I felt different.
I thought about my friends, going to Uni.. getting jobs, parties etc.. and wondered if I had done the right thing.
Obviously my low confidence helped my brain make the decision that I hadn't done the right thing.
I felt like a rubbish mum- no job, no further education.. nothing to show my girl and her brother or sister how well I've done. No hobby to be proud of.. no job to provide for them.
Now I know, sympathy isn't given when you've gor yourself into a situation and you'll be thinking it's my own fault- I'm not silly.. but I feel the need to share this to show teenage girls that having a baby isn't JUST about dressing them up and pushing prams.
Opportunities like college/uni/parties etc.. are twice as hard to work for, take twice as long to do for some.. or never happen at all. Especially if you're unfortunate enough to develop depression.
I broke down in tears and couldn't stop. My 18th should be about plans to move out, partying and forgetting about coursework for a day. Not tidying up my own house whilst chasing my child around and throwing up morning sickness.

It was a horrid morning.. I doubted my parenting and everything.
That afternoon, I sat down and Alyssa came running up to me, hugged me and pronounced peoudly 'I love you mummy'. Out of the blue.. a whole sentance. Not even 2 years old.
That's when it hit me.. I dont have qualifications (that won't get you far in this day anyway) I don't have a job (but Triston does and provides for us) I don't have parties (that would be forgotten anyway) but what I do have is 1000000x better than any of that. I have a clever little girl who loves me, dotes on me and cherishes time with me.. who I will guide into the right direction and show the world to.

Being a parent is hard.. being one with an extra hurdle like being young or depression, or any other hurdle is even harder.

Think about what you want before making that one decision that could change your life forever.