Thursday 10 April 2014

Mental health during pregnancy.

As you're all aware, I suffer from mental health problems. Depression, anxiety and OCD.
Falling pregnant was a shock, as emotionally I didn't feel ready, but every baby is a blessing and we knew we were sent the baby for a reason. The first trimester was not a good time. Amongst problems with the pregnancy, my depression spiraled out of control. I didn't want the baby, I didn't want my existant child, I didn't even want to be here. I hated myself, and everything around me. My friends and family were concerned and got me the help I needed just in time. From then on things have been getting easier, from 20 weeks I have started bonding with our unborn girly, and feel I love her now as much ad any mum loves their baby. It's not nice admitting I had those feelings, but that's depression for yiu- it changes the entire person you are. 
I've been on anti depressents for two yesrs now, gradually highering my dose until I fell pregnant, where I was dropped.. As of 28 weeks, the tablets I am on can have a negative effect on baby, cauding withdrawal and possible heart defects. This isn't for all cases, but a lot. 
My mental health doctor has taken my dose even lower, and as of 28 weeks I am no longer allowed to take my medication.

It's a big thing coming away from the one thing you rely on to be 'okay' ..and I am anxious about what could happen, but I know it's for the best for our baby.

We've set up early warning signs, so we can detect a breakdown before it happens, so I can be given councilling/monitoring to help me until our big arrival.

A lot of people tell me 'you'll be okay' etc, but really they don't know.. and nor do I. Depression and anxiety is unpredictable. One minute you can be fine, the next crumbling at the walls.

I have a good support system from my friends/family/midwife and mental health doctors.. so I know that I will be supported if anything goes wrong.

I'll be updating again in a few weeks, once I'm off the medication.. but please remember, Mental health is an illness, it can happen to anyone- even those who are supposed to be going through the most exciting time of their life!

3 comments:

  1. What a very honest post! I too have suffered with depression over the years, had post natal depression with both kids and have had 3 breakdowns. I won't say You'll be ok but I hope you will. I do understand! Good for you for talking about it here. I honestly believe it helps xxx

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  2. I have loved reading your blog this week and therefore awarded you the Very Inspiring Award, I would love for you to accept , thankyou for being so fabulous. http://beautyiiao.weebly.com/6/post/2014/04/i-was-given-the-very-inspiring-blog-award.html

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  3. Hey Taymar, You have a lot of courage to face your problems with depression head on. I wish you a healthy and happy life with your family. All the very best, Amrita

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